Villainous agri-corp Monsanto, known for playing God with your cornflakes and terrorizing small farmers, just locked down a big acquisition: TechCrunch reports it now owns Climate Corporation, a firm that specializes in "big data" weather prediction. Silicon Valley meets an episode of Captain Planet.

Do you wish you could live the Silicon Valley VC lifestyle? The glamor? The apps? The yacht racing and indifference to humanity? Thanks to recent legislative changes, you can't actually have money to invest, but it's effortless to fake it—and maybe even scam people!

As young technologists become more convinced they're on the verge of improving the entire human condition, they find society unfit. They go to privately owned mountains, or in this case, a giant boat voyage across the eastern hemisphere. Self-importance, hundreds of kids from UVA, and no escape.

Last week, as part of the JOBS Act, the federal government lifted its ban on general solicitation. Startups can now tell anyone they're seeking investment and accept funds from any accredited investors. No one is having more fun with this than AngelList.

Ask the brassy Stanford CS department about Clinkle, the student project that's taken $25 million in venture capital and produced nothing but a video, and they'll tell you they hate it. They hate it enough, apparently, to show the world what it looks like:

Where does a man like Ted Cruz get the confidence to IRL troll the United States Senate for 21 hours? Knowing that PayPal billionaire and Silicon Valley kingpin Peter Thiel has his back surely helps.

Incoming clusterfuck for AOL, the lumbering online media calcification that won't stop lumbering: a paid subscription for a bunch of boring services you can find somewhere else. It even has a silly name: "Gathr."

Yahoo! saved Tumblr from certain death or ignoble decline, a company that was killing itself because it didn't care about making money. Months later, Tumblr's dropout prince seems more interested in flying drones and looking at GIFs than being a CEO.

Fortune, Quartz and the Wall Street Journal report that Twitter plans on making its "secret IPO" filings public as soon as this week. If everything goes according to schedule, Twitter could be trading before Thanksgiving.

Despite having the best company name in the style startup game, Fashism, is taking a trip to the big incubator in the sky. Not even a joint investment from Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore could save the outfit-sharing service. Full email below:

In an age of spending excess, it's nice to see the group at SocialWire cutting expenses: instead of taking a new group photo every time there's a new hire (or departure), they just hilariously photoshop around it.

Twitter’s impending IPO won’t just create generational wealth for its founders and venture capital investors. It will also make rich people, “who had the wealth and means to get access to the stock,” even richer!

It's been a great year for JustFab.com—the "subscription" shoe website just pulled in a $40 million investment, bringing their total VC backing to $149 million. The service boasts millions of users. It was all looking so good—but now the internet is turning on JustFab, claiming it's one big tricky ripoff.

A report in The Telegraph says that King.com, the London-based company behind Candy Crush, will go public on the NASDAQ. Only no one can hate-read their S-1 filing to see how much money King made off addicts who splurge on power-ups and life packs because the company has opted for a "secret IPO."

Sergey Brin cheated on his wife—that's sort of not your business, unless you're his wife, in which case, hi Anne, we're sorry! But the disruptive affair was with a subordinate—a choice that could get him in trouble at pretty much any company. But does Google care, at all?

AllThingsD's Kara Swisher has a thoughtful story about Twitter's manly board, with one very money quote: it's been a problem for so long, they PG-13 joke about it.

Thanks to the JOBS Act signed into law this past spring, you don't have to be a Silicon Valley insider to get played by a persuasive Stanford dropout. Now you can legally beg anyone for investment cash, anytime, anywhere. This will be fun for everyone.

Remember Lucas Duplan, the Stanford kid who grabbed a $25 million investment for an app he won't tell anyone about? He still won't explain what "Clinkle" does, or when it will come out, but that didn't stop him from making this insanely pretentious promotional video.