Y Combinator founder Paul Graham is listed as a "major contributor" to FWD.us, Mark Zuckerberg's powerful lobbying firm whose primary focus has been immigration reform. But just because Graham wants to bring foreign workers to the U.S., doesn't mean he'd let them into his fabled Silicon Valley accelerator.

You can assume any given startup has a very good chance of dying. Maybe it's a bad idea—maybe it's a good idea with too much competition. But that doesn't stop everyone from trying, and trying, and now there are so many surplus startup ideas, there's a website dedicating to selling them at liquidation prices.

While you were watching our national twerking nightmare unfold on your TV last night, venture capitalist Shervin Pishevar was backstage at the VMAs making his daughter's birthday dream come true.

Buzzfeed, a business premised on the free sharing of news and information via social media networks, instructed its one billion employees not to tweet about an office visit from noted startup advisor Kanye West. But one newbie found a loophole that was quickly exploited by his fellow viral vixens.

Years ago, Jason Kester made a TechCrunch-approved company called Twiddla. It lets you draw virtual pictures on websites with other people, which maybe you want to do, who knows. Today, globetrotting Jason wrote one of the most hideously arrogant things you've read in a while, all about his superiority.

When Bryan Goldberg interviewed himself on PandoDaily about the $6.5 million he received to launch Bustle, a website for women that "puts world news and politics alongside beauty tips," Bryan Goldberg neglected to ask Bryan Goldberg a crucial question: Why would the cofounder of a spammy sports site want to speak to a female audience?

Tim Draper, by any cursory Wikipedia skim, is a successful man. He's reaped enough through his venture capital endeavors to create his own zany vanity "school," where wannabe Zuckerbergs and Brit Morins pay ten grand apiece to learn startup brilliance. It sounds even crazier when you hear him speak:

The team at AOL's intrepid startup newsroom never shies away from thinly rewritten press releases—don't mess with a good formula. But today, TechCrunch reaches new heights/depths in the art: the press release as corporate fan fiction, imagining a cool new world in which Google replaces humans.

Uber is done with vociferous denials. Sort of. Raging Randian disruptor Travis Kalanick confirmed that Uber raised a $258 M. round, led by Google Ventures and TPG Capital in order to expand and "fight off protectionist, anti-competitive efforts," but the post was quickly taken down.

So you're Google, out there looking to the future, tryna extend the human life span, map every corner of land and sea, generally moon shot-ing all OVER the goddam place. Why bother trying to sell self-driving software to old school auto-makers when you could just design a car yourself?

What is Medium, asks the Atlantic. Friend or foe? Publication or platform? Epic troll? Then, like magic, MEDIUM REPLIES.

Tech startups, like any other business sector, gravitate towards jargon that conveniently glosses over what they're really talking about. Wall Street has its collateralized debt obligations, Silicon Valley has growth hacking. And now, also, "culture fit."

A little Friday advice: if you work for one of the great mammoths in the history of technology, and your faltering CEO just emailed to say he's departing, make sure you click the right buttons when you reply.

If you want to make a company premised on squeezing money out of vast troves of personal data, our U.S. government is one swarming job fair jamboree. The New York Times details how tax-trained engineers are cashing out through California startup jobs.

As of June, the average price for a 1 bedroom condo in San Francisco was $630,000, but there's still room before the market hits "peak exuberance," argues Priceonomics. In 2000, 74 percent of homes sold above asking price; in the first half of 2013, only 64 percent did. "Only."

Upside-down uber-acquirer Marissa Mayer is fashioning herself into something of a content queen. According to Kara Swisher, the "hey-look-at-me CEO" wants Yahoo visitors to look at Katie Couric too.

This video is the best thing to happen to the city on the internet in probably a century.

We owe young Patrick McConlogue an apology. Yesterday, the boyish wantrepreneur startled us with his plan to help the poor: just teach them how to code. It seemed a little naive—even demeaning—to think teaching a homeless person Javascript would rescue them from the streets. Maybe we were wrong.