To mark the occasion of his 30th birthday, serial entrepreneur and occasional Harvard spammer Ryan Allis decided to give back to the world that had been so generous to him. So he made a PowerPoint.

A 1,284 slide PowerPoint titled "Lessons From My 20s."

It's what The Secret sounds like after you lock yourself in a conference room with a week's supply of Soylent and a whiteboard.

The fonts are real big.

In the past decade, Ryan Allis has sold an email and social media marketing startup for $170 million, served as a national co-chairperson of Technology for Obama (he has the photo ops to prove it), and he created a "global network of leaders and entrepreneurs under 40 who are creating a better world" by charging $850 "tuition." Oh, he completed one year of Harvard Business School, too.

But what's so special about Ryan Allis is that all the useless advice and nonsense business-speak spread out over 1,284 slides is delivered with the kind of evangelizing optimism that only a disciple of Singularity University and the culty Landmark Forum can provide.

This, my fellow students, is what they call good "learnings." Here are but a few:

Fact.

Choosing the contents to achieve said bulk is up to you. Ryan Allis cannot do everything.

Do the math.

You're welcome, @importantpeople.

Note to self: fact-check with @GeorgeLucas.

@GeorgeRRMartin?

Random friends be like "Doh, my arms hang down," but extraordinary friends be like, "Holy shit, I have a sword."

Sometimes that sword is a lightsaber.

NEVER. #LIMITLESS #BRADLEY COOPER

"More slides" is not an acceptable answer. Ryan Allis has already replenished the world's supply.

How does Nadia feel about ranking #6 on 1 Year Goals?

She feels great!

When you think about it, this is less a birthday present Ryan Allis gave himself and more like a party favor he gave to you.

Love life, learn "lots."

Yeah, why?

WHY???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BYOBulkyFedex.

Was creating this slidedeck on Ryan Allis' bucket list?

No, it was not.

Maybe you put them in the FedEx package.

Gross.

This is an orange.

Woof woof.

Well, this moment, and then the moments it takes to read 1,047 more slides.

Lessons From My 20s - By Ryan Allis by Ryan Allis

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[Image via Facebook]