European regulators are once again scrutinizing Google as complaints mount that the search giant is diverting traffic away from competitors in favor of their own services. But Eric Schmidt insists the only ones calling Google a monopoly are jealous haters who want to see the internet go back in time.

The only way Google could be in worse trouble with European regulators right now is if Larry Page signed the order to wiretap Angela Merkel's phone himself. NSA revelations have hurt Google's European contracts and antitrust investigations are multiplying like Gremlins.

Joaquin Almunia is considered one of the most powerful regulators in tech because of his role as the European Union's antitrust chief. But now that the EU has decided not to let Google run roughshod over consumers and competitors, Almunia, who is texting buds with Google chairman Eric Schmidt, finds himself an awkward position.

As a social network, Google+ is just a bunch of empty circles spinning in a barren wasteland. But Google could give a fuck if consumers prefer Facebook. What the $400 billion data vacuum really wanted, reports The New York Times, is to track everything you do online and sell that personal information to advertisers.

What shining bastion of moral authority would bravely step up to defend a helpless $500 billion corporation being bullied by evil anti-trust investigators? The kind of editorial board that comes with its own warning.