For decades now, the internet has been dominated by the interests of women. You can't load a tab or click a hyperlink without running into diagrams of vaginas, perfume ads, estrogen videos, and whatnot. What's a man to do? This former Yahoo! exec is going to fill the void.

Have you ever yearned: I love the physical junk mail I get, but is there any way I could have it intercepted, opened by strangers, scanned, and routed directly to my email inbox, so I don't have to touch paper? San Francisco startup Outbox thought it had the solution. Maybe it did. Now it is gone. Good.

If you're a startup that's taken investment money from First Round Capital, I'm not sure why you'd agree to participate in this video, unless they're threatening to take the money back. Or maybe they're threatening your family?

Not only do you not need to make money to be deemed a worthy investment, you can be widely loathed: Bitstrips, an online "web comic" and Facebook annoyance so bad, BuzzFeed made a guide to blocking it.

When you've got a proven history of colossal failure as a startup founder, it's best to avoid silly, swaggering videos that make light of this fact—remember, you're playing with someone else's money. But three years ago, Fab.com's creators did exactly that—and with the attitudes you see here, it's no wonder they're failing again.

One downside of Silicon Valley's ultra-insular groupthink fiesta is that it produces things like "Coin." Coin is a company that sells a product that will solve a fake problem, and soothe a tiny cohort of techie whiners. But when that's all you know, it feels like The Next Big Thing. It's not.

Will Vendramini, seen here in brownface in a "homeless guy" costume, is not actually homeless. In fact, he's an art director at Shopbop, a division of Amazon. Sid Lee, a VP at Shopbop, is not homeless either—but the six-figure-earning exec sure thinks it's a hoot.

Or anywhere, for that matter. We're looking at you, personal finance app Wally—this is not the way to promote your startup.

At least it wasn't blackface, I guess: failing Groupon clone LivingSocial hosted a swarm of Washingtonians in its offices this past weekend, and didn't think decorating a "sin of greed" room with dreidels would bother anyone.

When I arrived at the startup house, I walked downstairs and was greeted with what looked like a basement ripe for a party I would have loved in college. The only problem was that there was no one there—seriously not one person.

"Beer. Dance floor. Shot bar. Food truck. Girls." Nerds. Obliviousness. Poor judgment. Skewed cultural views. Social regression. Bros. MySQL. Crushing it. A party atmosphere combined with everything that makes the rest of the world hate you, Silicon Valley: this party is not smart.

Do you think investing you real money in the unknown future performance of a capricious, injury-prone pro-athlete sounds like a wise money move? Fantex Holdings—which just sounds so charming—says yes.

I'm no marketing wizard, but if you try to trick your classmates into believing there is a violent criminal act occurring on campus, the stunt might just blow up in your face. The crew at Bevii is learning this the very hard way.

Or maybe it's meant to entice another board member? One with a dick.

Incoming clusterfuck for AOL, the lumbering online media calcification that won't stop lumbering: a paid subscription for a bunch of boring services you can find somewhere else. It even has a silly name: "Gathr."

Aside from boner t-shirts, another way to alienate women in the technology zone is to release a servile note-taking and schedule-managing app and call it "Donna." Maybe of the in-app purchases can be a $0.99 ass-slap? Sexism is always disruptive.

Step 1: hand out these free t-shirts on behalf of your enterprise software company.

Yahoo doesn't do much these days except buy silly startups and gather mounds of traffic from parents who don't know how to change their homepage. The company needs a new direction—and it's... more advertising? Oh no.