Mark Zuckerberg turned 30 today, which means he is too old to matter within the Silicon Valley boy-worship culture he largely helped found around himself.

Facebook turned 10 yesterday, which means that if Mark Zuckerberg were still a middle-finger-swinging youth, he'd just be getting over his hangover. Instead, he's a perfectly groomed corporate overlord. Here's our tribute to Zuck when he was still fun—and wasted.