The problem with treating the truth like a dirty secret is that it leads to situations like today's, where a CNBC panelist brought his own show to a halt after stating the obvious: "Tim Cook is fairly open about the fact that he's gay at the head of Apple, isn't he?" Silence.

"Hot" "business" tip: "business reporter" Chris says "all of that cash on Yahoo's balance sheet is burning a hole in Marissa Mayer's pockets." How much cash? How much burning? Enough to burn the passage of time backwards and buy a company that doesn't exist anymore, because Facebook already bought it. In 2011.