David Shing has the kind of gig that can only exist mid-bubble, when dinosaur corporations chase Snapchat into extinction. He pulls down six figures as AOL's "Digital Prophet." He hallucinates about the future and executives receive his wisdom like hair spikes are a barometer for intelligence. These are the kind of prophecies you get from a coddled cartoon character.

If you're wondering what a Digital Prophet at AOL does to justify his existence (and salary), here is video documentation. Today, David Shing, everyone's favorite tech clown stood before a rapt audience at the TNW Europe Conference 2014, and made up a lot of words.

Austin, TX — All the brands are here, and form a chorus of undignified pleas for your attention. But why are they bothering? Nothing will beat AOL's race to the bottom like Digital Prophet and escaped muppet David Shing, wobbling on a branded wrecking ball.

Last week, the chilling visage of David Shing was thrust upon the world. Equally horrific was his job title—"Digital Prophet." That's something you can be for a living? Yes, and there are plenty of other make-believe jobs out there, too.

If you work at AOL, here are two people that make more money than you: Chief Executive Prickhole Tim Armstrong, and this guy, David Shing, who is currently appearing on MSNBC to discuss his aimless, ailing company. This is the face of a dying corporation, convulsing as it goes down.