Google's playboy executives didn't just land their planes on NASA property and start chugging Pentagon fuel without permission—first, they had to cozy up with the government.

Larry Page, Sergey Brin, and Eric Schmidt are all billionaires, many times over—which you might think disqualifies them from buying cheap vacation gas from the military to keep their private aircraft fueled in government-owned hangars. Incorrect.

How many times do you think Google's coitus king Eric Schmidt has ominously said "It's our money now"? At least once! And it was to Bob Woodward.

I don't have any problem with Google executive chairman Eric Schmidt's online ogling if his wife doesn't have a problem with it. Do you. But someone must've taken issue, because his Instagram account, bikini babe follower list and all, is deleted. Sort of.

If there's one thing you should know about Google's Director of Open Marriage Engineering, Eric Schmidt, it's that he loves to fuck. He's also following a select, interesting assortment of people on Instagram, and by interesting I mean a lot of models and women in swimwear.

If you're a "normal married dude," who also happens to have a ton of sex on the side, you probably go to a motel or the back of a Jeep, I don't know. But if you're Google's executive chairman, knee deep in it with billions to spend, you have this soundproofed third base Xanadu.

Eric Schmidt, Google's chairman, only brushes his teeth once a day #NewsFromShareholderMeetings