Facebook product specialist Dave Goldblatt paid $20,000 in a charity auction to have a character named after himself in the next Game of Thrones book. Goldblatt chose to be a "Valryian." We always thought of Facebook more as a Lannister.

Facebook is rolling out an innovative new "Big Likes" feature in Messenger for those times when regular ol' Liking just won't cut it. "Press and hold to send an even bigger thumbs up when you really, really like something."

Despite already shelling out $19 billion for Whatsapp, shoving DMs into Instagram, and funneling its vast user base into Messenger, Facebook still looks upon Snapchat with envious eyes. Now, a month after killing off Poke, the social network's first sloppy attempt to go after the momentary messaging market, the company botched the rollout of "Slingshot," ephemerally releasing the app to iTunes' foreign markets before pulling it.

Facebook's IPO and stock market ascension has left the company's board with a big wad of cash—which is great news for the company's directors, who choose their own pay rate. Now Bloomberg reports an investor is suing Facebook and its hoodied founder for "[wasting] corporate assets" and "unjust enrichment."

A hearty golf clap to Homejoy, for using a stock photo of a woman cleaning the floor while also holding up her husband who is lying on a sofa, and to Fluc, for proving that naming your startup "Fluc" isn't literally the worst possible marketing decision. Your checks are in the mail, in the amount of -$100,000,000.

Forget fickle teens, the hottest demographic in tech right now is The Unwired. Google is investing $1 billion to $3 billion on a fleet of satellites to beam down Internet access on developing countries and other assorted areas without broadband. Before this satellite project, Google had tried the same thing with drones and balloons.

Facebook may not like its corrosive effect on the types of news that gets shared online, but its influence is growing stronger. WhatsApp, its $19 billion messaging miracle, already sends more traffic to USA Today's sports blog than Twitter.

Mike Hudack is the Director of Product Managment at Facebook. He believes in the web. He also believes CNN, print newspapers, BuzzFeed, HuffPo, and Vox are terrible. "Someone should fix this shit," he laments. If he's looking for people to blame, he should start with himself.

Sometime within the next few weeks, your iPhone is going to start recording everything it hears when you begin tapping out a Facebook status update, hoping you'll include what you're listening to or watching. But do we want to carry around a hot mic for Mark Zuckerberg?

Mark Zuckerberg turned 30 today, which means he is too old to matter within the Silicon Valley boy-worship culture he largely helped found around himself.

Jennifer Jenkins, a senior staff writer at the New York Times, is leaving the paper to work for Paper, a Facebook app.

If you're one of Twitter's 255 million monthly active users or MAUs, you may have noticed company insiders sub-tweeting Wall Street. Only a suit, they scoff, would fail to recognize the value of a company your mom sees flashing across her TV screen.

It's difficult to further debase an annual event commemorating the moral failings of the media industry. But Silicon Valley is nothing if not innovative. Re/code reports that tech companies like Google, Facebook, Yahoo, and Microsoft are hosting some of the largest parties during White House Correspondents' weekend.

At the annual F8 developer conference yesterday, Mark Zuckerberg convinced a room full of people who should know better to receive "MOVE FAST WITH STABLE INFRA" like it was tech gospel. What did Facebook do next? Party with Diplo, the DJ, music producer, and possible Katy Perry paramour.

Mark Zuckerberg is holding a very fancy private event today to celebrate his company. But it's not much of a celebration—he kicked it off by going onstage and acting like an optimistic dad. It was the performance of a dull man who's become the leader of a dull company, and is fine with being boring.

So far coverage of Facebook's plan to squeeze the organic reach of Pages has focused on its impact on "brands" that spam us with ads and promotions. But nonprofits, activists, and advocacy groups with much fewer resources (and no ad budgets) are also being hugely affected. It's starting to look like Facebook is willing to strangle public discourse on the platform in an attempt to wring out a few extra dollars for its new shareholders.

Just because Facebook has moved on to virtual reality face gear and drones doesn't mean they've forgotten their core competency: stalking. The company just launched an optional "Nearby Friends" feature that will let you "continuously" track friends like they were Jason Bourne.

The "pounding" tech stocks have been taking in the public market has forced Silicon Valley to wonder if a startup's ability to make a profit really does matter after all. But don't expect a moment of reckoning.

The fable of the dropout prodigy is so widely-told in Silicon Valley that it even came back to bite the enfant terrible who inspired it. In a new Q&A in the New York Times, Farhad Manjoo asks 29-year-old Mark Zuckerberg if he's out of touch with teens.

Why is Facebook so interested in India's election, asks Buzzfeed. More like why not! The event will mark the largest democratic election ever conducted around the globe. For a social network in a midlife-crisis, a country where half the population is under 24 has to look like salvation.