Silicon Valley's tech tycoons have been lurching towards the right wing for years now. But with the Valley's valuations climbing to record heights, those billionaires are backing Republicans like never before—and the party of obstruction is willing to say whatever it takes to get their dollars.

Republicans have been ratcheting up their efforts to win-over the new money elites of the tech boom. The latest move comes from Senator Rand Paul, who announced he's opening an office in the Bay Area—fueling speculation that he's planning to run for president in 2016 and plans to use technolibertarians as his personal piggy bank.

Republicans have long struggled to capture the hearts of millennials. It's never helped that the emerging crop of young voters are fundamentally opposed to the GOP's archaic social policies and general inclination toward stupidity. But the party of Big Business thinks it has found a wedge issue in Silicon Valley that can seduce skeptical kids: backing anti-regulation startups like Uber.

If Colorado Springs isn't your style, you're looking for better burritos than those in Boise, and still want the cold, masculine grasp of conservatism, you might feel lost. But have you considered Silicon Valley?