A report in The Telegraph says that King.com, the London-based company behind Candy Crush, will go public on the NASDAQ. Only no one can hate-read their S-1 filing to see how much money King made off addicts who splurge on power-ups and life packs because the company has opted for a "secret IPO."

In the not too distant future you'll be able to buy a share of TWTR—the company has confidentially filed for a secret IPO in the hopes of dodging the Facebook's IPO expectation disaster. Start getting your pension ready, bubble fans!

Zynga went public over the popularity of a few hit Facebook games, and is now in the process of collapsing into a mush pit. Now the makers of Candy Crush Saga, the jellybean puzzle game gripping the brains of America, are plotting an IPO, the Wall Street Journal reports. First as tragedy, then as farce.

NASDAQ will pay $10 million, the largest fine an exchange has ever paid the SEC, for mishandling Facebook's IPO. For more insight into how Facebook's bankers, including Michael Grimes, hurt regular investors while hedge funds profited by shorting the stock, check out this superb Atlantic article.

IPO price: $38. Today's price: $26.

The only thing worse than actually investing in the Facebook IPO is probably thinking you'd invested in the NASDAQ stinker, when in fact the cash was stolen from you as part of an international scam. Let's take a trip to New Jersey.