The future is now, and it is conducive to extremely depressing, impersonal gifts for your lover. Brit Morin and TaskRabbit, a startup for lazy babies who can't use their own limbs, are promising "hassle-free romance" this year, in the form of 3D-printed roses.

Lyft, one of San Francisco's most beloved new apps, isn't a bad idea if you think about it very briefly: the city's transit service isn't great, so let's make it easy to pay for a ride from your fellow man. But, surprise, when you let almost anyone be a cab driver, your fellow man is going to creep you the hell out.

Being rich only makes you rich. It doesn't make you beautiful, smart, nice to be around, happy, young, healthy, wise, etc.

Attention Joshua Kushner, Sean Parker, and Jack Dorsey: TyTy Winklevoss is now regularly making nakedness with Brazilian model Loris Kraemerh. Selfie time!

When rumors first crossed the nerd wire that Facebook vet and inveterate party boy Sean Parker was finally settling down in a medieval themed wedding, he was quick to correct. Really, where would anyone ever get the idea that his wife-to-be is obsessed with Game of Thrones?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: After years of unethically covering the industry which his girlfriend advertises for a living, New York Times tech elder David Pogue attempted the impossible by trying to make an honest woman of a PR rep: the two married this weekend in California.