The only way Google could be in worse trouble with European regulators right now is if Larry Page signed the order to wiretap Angela Merkel's phone himself. NSA revelations have hurt Google's European contracts and antitrust investigations are multiplying like Gremlins.

Nature abhors a vacuum, Silicon Valley abhors even the most minute attempt at criticism. So when Quartz's Christopher Mims wrote "2013 was a lost year for tech," gallant techies took offense. Charging at the fore was TechCrunch alum and VC MG Siegler, who has really had it up to here with reporters thinking critically:

In 2011, TechCrunch founder and Bully-in-Chief Michael Arrington gave an off the record talk to an audience of powerful tech CEOs. Details of unsavory comments leaked. Later that year, he did it again, and now we have the closed-doors video of Arrington's corruption, in his own words.

This is why stuff like this matters: less than a month after investor MG Siegler announced his move to Google, he's written a TechCrunch column pillorying Apple for looking dull. There's no mention—by Siegler or TechCrunch—of the fact that he works for Apple's rival.

After MG Siegler's announcement yesterday that the CrunchFund general partner was moving onto greener, more re$$$ourceful pastures at Google Ventures, questions about the future of the conflicted fund grew louder. But according to Dan Primack's crystal ball, detractors should put down their knives for now, thanks to the potential of good returns.

Apple shopper, ever-conflicted TechCrunch blogger and venture capitalist MG Siegler just took on a third job: partner at Google Ventures. But don't worry, he says, everything is going to stay just the way it was: blogging about the industry he bankrolls, not a scruple in sight.