Even a $2,400 membership fee can't insulate The Battery, the private club founded by Michael and Xochi Birch, from the ubiquitous protests against Terra Nova Industries, a nonunion contractor. A tipster sent in this photo from last night.

Every year, the Chronicle of Philanthropy puts out a list of the largest donors. (Mark Zuckerberg came out on top in 2013.) But Inside Philanthropy calls that a vanity metric. Looking at the percentage of wealth an individual has given away, they argue, is the best measure of generosity.

There was a valet stationed outside The Battery on Sunday night. Even for a private clubhouse with a $2,400 annual fee, this seemed superfluous. San Francisco's Financial District turns into a ghost town after 6 p.m. The neighborhood was so desolate, the only place I could find to charge my phone was a SUBWAY® around the corner, where they gave me free rein over an outlet behind the soda fountain.

Silicon Valley's new money imitates its urban center: awkward, underdeveloped, and hoping so very badly to be noticed. So it's no mistake that the buzziest addition to the San Francisco social scene is The Battery, a private clubhouse that apes so much that's lame and gauche about Manhattan.

Bebo was supposed to be a very, very big social network—so big, AOL paid $850 million for it back in 2005. Ha, ha, ha. That never happened. It's dead. But today, the site's founder says he's buying it back for 1/850th of the sale price, just for "fun." Fun! This is what's fun, now.