There will never be a good time to be poor, or a bad time to be rich: the NYT has a sad report from Palo Alto, where soaring real estate prices are starting to squeeze out ordinary humans.

Quarterly earnings time: Zuck's advertising trian chugga-chugged $1.46 billion in revenue for Q1, a year-over-year increase of 38-percent, with profits up 7-percent. Way to go Zuck—and let's all give ourselves a hand for making it happen.

Well, technically not all of it. After working as a programmer for online gaming community Meez.com, our tipster saw his scoop of the corporate money sundae reduced by 8,000,000 to 1, leaving him with just a little more than it cost to mail him this check. "Sometimes you win," he told us, "but you rarely hear about the losers."

Jason Goldberg and Bradford Shellhammer did something rare: they built Fab, a shopping website that's standing out from the other trillion shopping websites. Sales are up, and judging by the pictures they post of their fabulous lives, egos are up too. This is conspicuous consumption at its bubble best.

PayPal billionaire, electric car zealot, and one man NASA Elon Musk has had it with his L.A. commute on the 405. But instead of just bitching about it like the rest of us plebes, he says he'll pay out of pocket to get a massive lane-expanding project over with.

It's possible that in the near future, we'll print out new organs, phones, and hot dogs, with 3D printers in our own homes. But for now, the super-trendy cottage industry is confined to silly bric-à-brac: plastic cufflinks, toy cars, and whatever this thing is. Shapeways, startup purveyor of these wares, just netted a big bundle of cash.

The good news for David Karp is that he created one of the most popular things to ever sit on the internet. The bad news is that Tumblr's investors say the company is worth $800 million, and Karp says he doesn't care about making money. That could change today.

The second quarter earnings numbers from everyone's favorite gadget company are out, and like every other time, it made an ungodly amount of money: $43.6 billion in revenues and net profits of $9.5 billion. That's objectively a lot of money, but there's still no phantom iWatch, so investors are likely to pout.

It's hard to imagine what could be worse than being fired in the same paragraph that heaps praise upon the work you've been doing. But at Tumblr, there is worse: your company shitcans you and then unveils shiny new LA real estate. What are they thinking?

Looks like a lot of people have been buying wacky stools and canine bow ties: TechCrunch reports that whimsy epicenter Fab.com is taking a new funding round that will put its "value" squarely at one billion dollars.

Looks like Tumblr actually does sorta care about making money: mobile users will see "up to four ads per day, and they'll be differentiated with a dollar-sign icon with beams shooting out of it," reports AdAge. Subtle! Sadly, this revenue will be too late to save the editorial team Tumblr just canned.