After months with Jeff Bezos' fingers planted in their eyeballs, hundreds of pissed off writers are buying a full-page middle finger to Amazon. Their message is clear: please stop screwing us in order to promote world retail domination.

It's silly, because the world has known Apple's chief executive is gay for years now, but the New York Times is practically gnawing its own arm off in the process of writing about Tim Cook's personal life. They clearly want to mention the sexuality of capitalism's most powerful man—so why won't they?

Cook is the CEO of Apple, that company that makes all of the things you either own or want to own at some point in the future. He's also gay. So why is the Times so emphatically saying "There Are Still No Openly Gay Major C.E.O.s" today?

Jennifer Jenkins, a senior staff writer at the New York Times, is leaving the paper to work for Paper, a Facebook app.

There's nothing worse than getting married, then realizing you could have done so much better. Such was the dilemma of tech media's preeminent naif, Farhad Manjoo, is ditching the Wall Street Journal to place David Pogue's crown upon his head at the New York Times, and is now the most coveted writer of our era.

Lulu, an app that lets women anonymously torment their dude Facebook friends with sexual feedback, is one of those you play with briefly and then forget. It's a gimmick—half malice, half prank, and all dumb, which is why it was plummeting in the app store. Until the Times stirred up the toilet bowl today.

Yahoo's newest blogger sat down for a brief interview with Forbes, and he's bursting with energy and candor—who knows which camcorders he'll help us set up at his new corporate home? The future is a thrill. He won't, however, talk about any of his ethical problems.

David Pogue, veteran non-reporter, alleged wife-attacker, and lover of publicists, is leaving the mothership for Marissa Mayer. It may or may not have to do with everyone at the Times hating him.

Do you find your job, diet, and existence inadequate? If not, make sure to read this latest dispatch from the New York Times trend squad: the city's startup jockeys are spending day after day pressing "calorie-packed" things into their fat fucking maws, chugging beer, and taking naps. They'll also probably be billionaires.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: After years of unethically covering the industry which his girlfriend advertises for a living, New York Times tech elder David Pogue attempted the impossible by trying to make an honest woman of a PR rep: the two married this weekend in California.