On the hierarchy of which employees get acqui-hired, frivolous contributions like user experience and marketing are at the bottom. Designers, who are more likely to be female than their engineering equivalent, are often "the losers in situations like these."

Klout is officially the Kardashian sister of social influence startups. Without showing any demonstrable talent, the company has been acquired by Lithium Technologies for a cash and stock deal valued at almost $200 million, reports Fortune.

You can call yourself "utterly pointless," flounder in beta forever, pivot, then show a downward slope in the App Store, and still get acqui-hired by Yahoo. No man left behind, no landing too soft.