When you name your investment vehicle #DominateFund (with an actual hashtag!), you're inviting the wrath of the gods, and an ironic end. Sure enough the pet project of Mashable's former editor at large Ben Parr is striking out.

Stop me if you've heard this one before: a company that makes virtually no money at all might get a massive, billion dollar price tag out of thin air (but at least people use Tumblr!). According to TechCrunch tipsters, the small and shady social network's spam blitz might've worked.

If you're willing to ignore the existence of institutionalized prejudice and hustle, you might be the recipient of some cold cash from dot-com millionaire Jason Calacanis' impending investment firm. Let's hope he picks young startups better than he picks poker hands.

If you're going to join the bloated ranks of Dave McClure's VC firm, 500 Startups, there's something they want you to know: your startup totally might end up broke and fucked.

Successful mega-investor Dave McClure is all about quantity over quality, and he's not ashamed: his fund is called 500 Startups, after all. But if you want to be part of this moneyed crowd, you'll have to get past the worst email wall I've ever seen.