Walmart, a ruthless retailer known for abusing employees and pulverizing local businesses, just installed Instagram co-founder Kevin Systrom onto its board of directors. And why the hell not? Walmart is desperate for some Silicon Valley magic to rub off on its burdened brand.

Yahoo may have cemented its reputation as a dumping ground for failed mobile startups, but Walmart is staking out a similar renown with shopping startups. Over the last few months, the nation's favorite predatory retailer has been buying up some Silicon Valley e-commerce cruft.