It's hard to cast a better clusterfuck—or a worse caricature of Silicon Valley hustle—than what happened to tech investor Jason Calacanis. "Someone hacked my voicemail and changed my outgoing message to get me to invest," he wrote on Instagram yesterday, along with a recording of the new message.

Less than a month ago, Sam Altman, the new President of Y Combinator, officially declared that "Sexism in tech is real." That was the first sentence of his post on diversity. Sadly, there is now more proof of sexism in tech for those that still need convincing. Right before meeting a reporter from Re/code, Y Combinator cofounder Jessica Livingston was hassled by an investor.

For the first time, Y Combinator's Jessica Livingston has issued a reminder to investors not to sexually harass people on Demo Day. "Don't even think about doing it. I will find out. Y Combinator will not continue to work with you." But will they release your name?

Ever since Paul Graham stepped down from Y Combinator, the Stanford of startup accelerators has been trying to give off a more welcoming vibe. The attempts thus far have seemed awkward, half-hearted, and therefore insincere. As though Sam Altman got PR advice on crisis control from a YC bro-founder: Just tell 'em what they want to hear.

Industry obsessives talk about Product Hunt—a leaderboard that lets members vote on new apps, devices, and other assorted technologies—with a sense of gratefulness. Venture capitalists use its hand-picked daily list to find a diamond in the deluge. Founders use Product Hunt as an alternative launching pad: TechCrunch without the noise; Hacker News without the hate.

Soylent, the semen-esque food substitute financed by venture capitalists, is nothing if not resilient. It can keep you sated for hours with a full, gaseous feeling. It can even withstand reports of rats in its kitchen and still show up in The New Yorker. But slurping the fun out of life's most basic pleasure requires some social media marketing.

Eden Alexander is an adult film star and cam girl. After a "near fatal" reaction to a common prescription drug and a month of chronic pain, she tried to crowdfund $4,000 for her medical care. Hours before she was taken away in an ambulance, she got a notice that the online payments company WePay had cancelled her emergency fundraiser.

Y Combinator, which has been going through an identity crisis, just welcomed Quora (a $900 million, 7-year-old company) into its summer batch of early-stage startups. The accelerator will also invest in Quora's latest round, which happened one minute ago and was supposed to keep the Q&A site independent "forever and ever."

Y Combinator is hosting a fundraiser for the DNC with President Obama. Hacker News commenters are mad as heck. The only reassuring part is seeing Marissa Mayer and Sam Altman's under "Change That Matters."

Airbnb is about to close a round of funding that will value the company at $10 billion, reports the Wall Street Journal. That's four times as much as the company was valued in 2012, when it raised $200 million. This time, the valedictorian of the sharing economy is raising between $400 million and $500 million led by private equity group TPG.

A startup called The Dating Ring has taken its inspiration from an unlikely source: the "comfort women" of World War II. How else can they explain this crowdfunding campaign to help fly New York women "in dateable ages" to San Francisco to service the Bay Area's soldiers of code.

On stage at the Launch festival this afternoon, Y Combinator cofounder Paul Graham explained his decision to step down from Silicon Valley's ur-accelerator. He wanted to "get his brain back."

Y Combinator, that mecca for hardcore hackers running on pure Paleo and possibility, has lost one of its own to the dead pool. The door-to-door laundry service Prim, which let San Francisco denizens mimic the perks of their corporate brethren by barking "DO MY LAUNDRY" for $25/bag, is no longer in business.

The Information just proved that it's worth the $400 price of admission. On display in an interview with Y Combinator cofounder Paul Graham is the clearest picture of Silicon Valley's unacknowledged sexism to ever find its way in print.

This weekend, Bing Nursery School, an elite institution for precocious little 2-to-5-year-olds, is holding its 25th Annual Harvest Moon Auction with all proceeds going toward student scholarships. As you might expect from a nursery school where Stanford University connections count so heavily, a handful of the items from the online auction are awfully startup-oriented.

What if the perfect liquidity event for Silicon Valley was not a blockbuster IPO, or an acquisition that paid out at some insane multiple, but a literal exit from the United States of America? No more lumbering bureaucracies, no lobbying incumbents, no "petty" laws, no obstructionist unions. That's what a Stanford lecturer and genetics startup cofounder Balaji Srinivasan proposed at Y Combinator's annual startup school this weekend.

After the discussion of a blog post about rape went south in typical Hacker News fashion, Y Combinator chief Paul Graham admitted it's a wreck: "I apologize to the world for this thread."

There are no shortage signs that the tech industry is, once again, bubbling over with absurdity. "Part-time" Y Combinator partner Sam Altman, whose app Loopt got acqui-hired for $43 million and then shut down, thinks he's found another: "hot girls" on the prowl for engineers.

When Aussie abomination Titstare went on stage yesterday, the internet collectively retched. But at Hacker News, an erudite discussion board run by the venture capitalists at Y Combinator, discourse is a special kind of toxic—and its users rushed to defend Titstare.

I'm very sorry to report that Y Combinator founder Paul Graham has decided to dig in his heels about the correlation "between founders having very strong foreign accents and their companies doing badly."