The key to sound like an informed, annoying Silicon Valley insider for Fall '14 is owning an invite-only Ello account. Talking point: it's like Facebook, but it puts people above companies. Except, exactly like Facebook, brands will run the show.

From Ello's social media manifesto:

Your social network is owned by advertisers.

Every post you share, every friend you make and every link you follow is tracked, recorded and converted into data. Advertisers buy your data so they can show you more ads. You are the product that's bought and sold.

We believe there is a better way…We believe a social network can be a tool for empowerment. Not a tool to deceive, coerce and manipulate—but a place to connect, create and celebrate life.

Grrr, advertisers. Ello is posturing as the social network that doesn't give a damn about branded entities, that will treat you like a real customer and not merely a consumer.

If that sounds naive and impractical, it's because it is naive and impractical—as one George Kerrigan found out over the weekend (and relayed to me via email):

I realize that people are signing up for this site ello. I'm pretty weary of twitter at this point, so I jump on board.

I like to cause a little trouble now and then, so I snag the clickhole username, with the intention of being a parody of a parody.

I made a few listing style posts, start following people then I suddenly get an email titled "Abuse!" from ello.

Soon after setting up the account, Kerrigan received these messages from the site:

I guess expecting a venture-backed corporation to side with humans against other corporations was asking too much.