In light of recent controversy over how startups ought to select their membership, former Tumblr editor-in-chief and current VP of programming at Blip Chris Mohney weighs in.

Red Flags

  • Foreign accent (domestic accents — hillbilly drawl, Valley squawk, East Coast yawping — all OK)
  • Is foreign (domestic but not from a Coast, actual foreigners OK)
  • Has a baby
  • Expecting a baby
  • Might have a baby someday, biologically
  • Might have seen a baby once
  • Has more than one idea
  • Has an idea that will not change the world
  • Uses non-coding solution to an everyday problem, does not recommend app-based replacement
  • Votes, or might vote someday, theoretically

Green Lights

  • Looks like Mark Zuckerberg
  • Sounds like Mark Zuckerberg
  • Mentions Mark Zuckerberg
  • Wears hoodies and trainers
  • Is white
  • Like, REALLY white
  • We’re talking Miley white
  • Ethnic actually OK if not detectable on a conference call
  • Does not have a child or a baby
  • Could not plausibly have a baby
  • Should not even know what a baby is really
  • Old enough to drink
  • Young enough to be a child
  • Not a murderous dwarf masquerading as a child/startup CEO or is willing to continue charade to post-equity event

Photo: Chris Ware/Stringer