After checking up on their brood last month, some of the tech industry's most prominent investors scolded startups about burning through their venture capital allowance. But dad's new rule about spending wisely has not reached founders themselves, reports the Wall Street Journal.

If you hear the word "dinosaur" in Silicon Valley, it's usually a pejorative for an out-of-touch venture capitalist headed for extinction. But according to The New Yorker, the same grim fate awaits the current "Cambrian explosion" of new startups.

The first line in town idiot Thomas Friedman's latest column is maybe the most stupid part: "The most striking thing about visiting Silicon Valley these days is how many creative ideas you can hear in just 48 hours." These are exciting times, and our nation's foremost public intellectual blowhard is on it.

Parody routines like this are usually a bad idea outside of talent shows for kids, but what's the Valley life for if not perpetuating childhoods? Making money, of course—and what better source material than the anti-materialism anthem "Royals"?

In light of recent controversy over how startups ought to select their membership, former Tumblr editor-in-chief and current VP of programming at Blip Chris Mohney weighs in.

Paul Graham, the brains and investment personality cult leader behind Y Combinator, is very vocal about what he doesn't like. Foreign accents are a no-no—but as a buried blog post from 2005 shows, the great part about running a startup is that you can let your prejudices run wild.

You can assume any given startup has a very good chance of dying. Maybe it's a bad idea—maybe it's a good idea with too much competition. But that doesn't stop everyone from trying, and trying, and now there are so many surplus startup ideas, there's a website dedicating to selling them at liquidation prices.

One of life's grand injustices is that it's very hard to come up with an idea that's both original and good. Even harder to make money from it! But that's not stopping anyone from trying to cash in with a half-baked version of someone else's startup. Uber for nose jobs. Pandora for plants. Silicon Valley has a serious imagination problem.

You might've heard something about Silicon Valley types being out of touch with the general consequences and realities of ordinary humans. Englishman and "digital strategist" Ash Read is here to fix your mind: America doesn't have a monopoly on obliviousness.

OK, now we're really heading past the Rubicon: a little app by the name of Elevatr has one task: help you crank out startup ideas as easily and quickly as possible. Because nothing says stable economic sector like a constant stream of easy business ideas.

Last week brought us some brutal VC-on-VC invective, and today, the Silicon Valley Honesty Hour continues with a perfectly honest warning to would-be startup employees. It's not all bean bag chairs and free massages.

You don't know Roger Dickey's name, but you know his creation: Mafia Wars, that incredibly popular, spammy hybrid of virus and videogame once played by millions, that polluted your Facebook feed some years back. Now, he's got a new project on the way—a vague "dating coach" service—and it's already annoying people: its own employees.

Infographics are one of the worst things about having eyes, and like photos of venereal diseases, I will try to avoid posting them here whenever possible. This slide, however, from some hellish marketing presentation, does a good job making a nightmarish point: we've got a major startup surplus.

VentureBeat brings us the breaking news that something called "Foodpanda" just locked down $20 million in funding. The big, expensive idea? Ordering takeout. Through the internet.

Union Square Ventures chief Fred Wilson has some big notches on his bedpost: Tumblr, Twitter, and Zynga (cough). But if you look at USV's portfolio page, you'll see a lot of chaff. Bad ideas that will probably go nowhere. This is the case with most VC firms. But unlike most investors, Wilson actually tries to chase down laughable ideas. Suddenly it all makes sense.

Time just dropped a list of ten hot New York companies. They're burning up, so check 'em out before they get so hot they go out of business because they're not so good.

If you're going to join the bloated ranks of Dave McClure's VC firm, 500 Startups, there's something they want you to know: your startup totally might end up broke and fucked.