After issuing an ultimatum to abuse-alleging ex Jenn Allen, TechCrunch founder and investor Michael Arrington is now trying to take her to federal court. In demand for trial filed just yesterday, Arrington's lawyers allege Allen tried to "smear [his] name on the internet" and "destroy his reputation."

Toot-toot, all aboard the cheap labor train! Tea Party prince Marco Rubio is leading the call for "pro-growth immigration reform" in his new role as part-time tech blogger. So begins TechCrunch's transformation into the Wall Street Journal op-ed section.

Boats, part of Hawaii, and now $200 mil worth of luxury Malibu real estate—tech billionaire Larry Ellison's eternal spending spree crusade continues. This is how you stay busy when you're the third richest man in America.

Either because of horrible sales or a change in strategy, AT&T is now selling Facebook's "Home" phone for the same price as a small order of McNuggets.

Welcome to Not Complicated, where we break down Randi Zuckerberg's weekly try at cashing in on her last name. The literary newsletter can be a little too erudite, so we'll comprehend it so you don't have to. This week's highlight: "5 Moms To Check Out On Twitter." Don't miss these moms.

All signs point to Path being desperate for user growth: first spam recidivism, and now a deal with Sprint. Out of the box, popular Android smartphones will put a direct link to download Path in your face, whether you want it or not.

John Doerr is a White House advisor, prominent billionaire, and Silicon Valley household name—at least among yuppie Valley households who care. Six years ago, he famously stepped back and forth across a TED Talk stage cheerleading "green tech," warning of global environmental disaster, and breaking into tears at the prospect. Today, he's bankrolling Mark Zuckerberg's dirty fuel campaign. What the hell happened?

An interesting choice of words there from Foursquare founder Dennis Crowley. Auto-check-ins aren't here yet, he explains, but they would be a "natural progression" of the location-broadcasting we're already doing now.

Name a type of business that Donald Trump could not improve by putting his face on top of it. If you said crowdfunding startup, you're wrong! (Typical loser.) The legitimate hairstyle choice is now gracing a crowdfunding site called FundAnything, proving that hoary business adage: 301st to market wins the race.

In the past, Fred Wilson's Union Square Ventures backed startups with decent ties to the mainstream: Foursquare, Tumblr, Soundcloud. Not anymore: welcome to the crazy, volatile, nerd gold rush, Fred.

After MG Siegler's announcement yesterday that the CrunchFund general partner was moving onto greener, more re$$$ourceful pastures at Google Ventures, questions about the future of the conflicted fund grew louder. But according to Dan Primack's crystal ball, detractors should put down their knives for now, thanks to the potential of good returns.

A (soon to be axed) tipster tells us AOL is canning its entire domestic tech support team, to be replaced by outsourced staff. I hope you don't have any future problems with your... AOL thing.

Gittip is a website that lets you pay people weekly allowances, which are made public. Why anyone would want to do this, I do not know. Why its founder, Chad Whitacre, insists on broadcasting his calls on YouTube, I also cannot explain.

Cnet reports Twitter's top counsel, Nicole Wong, will be the White House's new (and first!) Chief Privacy Officer. If Obama wanted to reach into the private sector, this isn't a bad pick: Twitter's privacy record is generally good.

VentureBeat brings us the breaking news that something called "Foodpanda" just locked down $20 million in funding. The big, expensive idea? Ordering takeout. Through the internet.

Enter the infinity ego, a ruddy, loudmouthed ouroboros: Scoble's latest web foray poses satisfies an important question: how do you get in touch with Robert Scoble?

You might say Summit Series, a bespoke conference of "epic events" for the one percent, has been employing a freemium strategy. Back in 2008, 20-something CEO Elliott Bisnow started by footing the bill for young entrepreneurs like Zappos' Tony Hsieh (fresh off a round of layoffs), Path's Dave Morin, and Facebook's Joe Green (Zuck's former roommate and now lobbyist-in-chief) to frolic in Cancun in the midst of a recession.

AOL Music lasted fifteen years before it was destroyed late last month without warning or much of a funeral. After talking with a survivor (of sorts) from the wreckage, you have to wonder how anyone could last longer than fifteen minutes.

Silicon Valley's cushy private buses epitomize the area's social tension: rich white people get driven around with air conditioning, poor non-whites get higher rent, and not much else. So how about an anti-bus, anti-tech gentrification protest?

Slow clap for Facebook, which just is now a member of the Fortune 500 club. It debuted at 482, despite a botched IPO and this really bad TV ad for Facebook Home.