"He's single!," Oprah once gushed to her audience over Gurbaksh Chahal, a studly young startup founder who only a year before had sold his company to Yahoo! for $300 million. Now he's facing 41 counts of assault.

Zuck has dined with Barack Obama, and now his political arm in Washington is pushing for a man who very recently tried to end Obama's presidency. Politico reports FWD.us, the Silicon Valley lobbying cabal, is dropping $350,000 on pro-Ryan ads.

AllThingsD's Peter Kafka reports some glum news from a recent Yahoo! financial filing: when the confused internet portal sealed its deal, Tumblr has only $16 million in the bank. That's a lot to us, but peanuts for one of the most popular sites on the entire internet.

Or at the very least, much larger, more expensive, and includes a petting zoo. Is that a guy in chain mail making giant bubbles? It's all happening right now, in a Californian parking lot, far, far away.

In the very near future, an app will fix everything, including death, divorce, disease, and dandruff. First up: infertility, a very real problem that some people think can be nixed via iPhone. But first, you need to be ready to type some very, very intimate details into a screen.

The "sharing economy" is coming to its logical conclusion: we've already stepped into the cars of our creepy neighbors. Now it's time to eat their cold chicken chicken wings—look, most of the meat is still on those bones! Meet Leftover Swap.

A lifetime spent tackling problems that don't exist can leave one wanting more. Perhaps, as Silicon Valley stalwarts realize attaining and facilitating bourgeois comfort isn't the noblest cause, they'll need more vanity projects like Charity: Water, an opportunity to show the internet just how generous they really are. African kids are perfect for Instagramming.

Say a Hail Mary for Dave Morin, because it looks like God's favored form of transportation isn't arriving anytime soon: Business Insider reports that Elon Musk, the PayPal billionaire behind the awesomely crazy idea, is backpedaling.

The tech industry is very white. The rest of California isn't always so white. The gap between the startup crowd's success and a flagging national economy can be tense enough—but according to this report, local police are targeting hispanic drivers in Facebook's backyard. That won't help.

The story of Tumblr in the arms of Yahoo! has been one of compromise, of spirit in decline. David Karp wanted his blogchild to be a bastion of free expression and porn. But in the months since he sold out, advertisers are steadily colonizing Tumblr. Are you excited for Bisquick GIFs?

Your shared links and mobile uploads are alright, but let's be honest, no one really cares about you. Your Facebook status is going to get like, ten likes, tops. It's not going wide. But if a famous person does anything online, we'll click it—and AllThingsD reports the social network is courting the a-list like never before.

Less than a week after sweeping layoffs, AOL just made a gigantic acquisition: a video ad service called Adap.tv. If the company is ever going to save itself, it's going to be because of a move like this.

How many times do you think Google's coitus king Eric Schmidt has ominously said "It's our money now"? At least once! And it was to Bob Woodward.

There are really "two Californias," one in which many successful white people congratulate each other and spend money earned through silly ideas, and another, where the same thing occurs a little to the north. There's been a cultural crevasse between Los Angeles and Silicon Valley—until these two became friends.

Dennis Crowley, creator of that clever, increasingly helpful app that's never quite taken off, has a new profile in Fast Company. The article navigates Crowley's giant ambitions for the geo-app, his insecurities about not reaching them so far, and reveals one important number: money.

Ever since Jessica Lessin, the standout Wall Street Journal tech tech reporter, left the mothership to launch her own site, we've wondered how she'll pay for it. Now, we think we have an answer: you'll pay for it, at least in part. But is anyone going to shell out money for more tech articles?

There are some forces so powerful, not even the wrought iron bonds of frat friendship can withstand them. Money is one—and so the fun-loving young dudes who made Snapchat are at each other's throats in court. Here's where it started to go bad.

There is a tech bubble because the people making the things are unable to relate to the people who should be using the things. Judgment is run through a series of prisms, mufflers, and tubes filled with iced coffee—and the people who invest the big money think something like this is a good idea:

Last time San Francisco's BART employees went on strike, local car rental app seized the opportunity: nothing says solidarity like a private helicopter ride. Today, with more labor rumblings, Uber is offering free boat rides to avoid public transportation.