Silicon Valley insiders like Ron Conway fought hard for the Jobs Act, lobbing hashtag after hashtag at Washington's paper belt. Now, thanks to the magic of deregulation, venture capitalist already benefitting from low interest rates and irrational exuberance in tech stocks can have an easier time raising funds.

Parody routines like this are usually a bad idea outside of talent shows for kids, but what's the Valley life for if not perpetuating childhoods? Making money, of course—and what better source material than the anti-materialism anthem "Royals"?

It's a given that most startups will fail, and that all it takes is a few smart (lucky?) investments for a VC to make it all worthwhile. Dave McClure's 500 Startups, as the name makes obvious, takes this to the logical extreme, with a throw moneyshit against the wall and see what sticks approach. Now they've got millions more to throw.

There is no such thing as hell. No—if you commit infanticide and then detonate a suicide bomb in a museum, this music video from Dave "You Lying Bitch!" McClure's VC firm is what you see instead, for eternity.

It's pretty hard to bomb a middling startup conference in Nebraska, and yet blowhard venture capitalist Dave McClure did just that today in a rambling, faux-edgy, profanity-crusted rant about nothing. I think he lost the audience somewhere around when he called one member a bitch for no reason.

If you're going to join the bloated ranks of Dave McClure's VC firm, 500 Startups, there's something they want you to know: your startup totally might end up broke and fucked.

Successful mega-investor Dave McClure is all about quantity over quality, and he's not ashamed: his fund is called 500 Startups, after all. But if you want to be part of this moneyed crowd, you'll have to get past the worst email wall I've ever seen.