Parody routines like this are usually a bad idea outside of talent shows for kids, but what's the Valley life for if not perpetuating childhoods? Making money, of course—and what better source material than the anti-materialism anthem "Royals"?

The song is performed by the new class at 500 Startups, which includes a company that will let you mail them your shit for bacterial analysis.

"Let me dream 'bout equity." Beautiful.