There's a new Android phone, and it's very nice and pretty much just like all the other very nice ones. It's also—Motorola can't stress this enough—ovary-friendly. It'll match your Pop Rocks and pink socks!

Meagan Cignoli, her website says, simply, "is an international fashion, advertising & portrait photographer." What it doesn't say so simply is that she makes thousands of dollars for a single seven-second Vine clip. Here's the job that'll ruin your day.

Only three short, sweet years ago, David Karp was just another dreamy eyed dropout sitting atop a billion dollar idea. He wore a lot of plaid. He told the L.A. Times that the concept of advertising "really turns our stomachs." Today, he's on the beach, saying the best part of Vogue is the ads. David.

From deep within the Smithsonian's Fossilized Social Networks Wing, MySpace shouts to the world: We're here, and we have at least $20,000,000 to spend on this TV commercial. Look, Riff Raff and Pharrell are there, too.

Facebook's TV ads are still young, experimental, and a bit strange. But not for long: the site is launching an old-school product-placement campaign to buy its way onto your favorite television show. Or at least VH1's "Best Week Ever." We got our hands on internal emails and draft scripts showing how Zuckerberg intends to surreptitiously infiltrate your living room through sketch comedy.

Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer is plowing through a media tour with her newly adopted internet son David Karp. On everyone's mind is how Tumblr will reconcile its vast collection of rape porn GIFs with tween-friendly advertising—and the duo doesn't have much of an answer.

Yahoo doesn't do much these days except buy silly startups and gather mounds of traffic from parents who don't know how to change their homepage. The company needs a new direction—and it's... more advertising? Oh no.

On stage at TechCrunch Disrupt earlier today (RIP, Sam Biddle's press credentials!) Foursquare CEO Dennis Crowley acknowledged the haters, before offering a confident dismissal: "I think there are a lot of people that think we don’t know how to generate revenue, that we aren’t generating revenue. This is wrong," he said. An internal Foursquare document obtained by Valleywag shows some of the new ways Foursquare is trying to make money: Tell advertisers where you've been.