People pay thousands of dollars to have lasers shot at their eyes so they don't have to wear glasses. People put little pieces of plastic right on their eyes so they don't have to wear glasses. People hate glasses.

Austin, TX — Strip away the pretension of the panels, and SXSW is pure leisure time. This rowdy crew swapped contraband wine bottles through the end of the night at one of this week's high budget parties, commanding the room, Google lanyards swinging. Now just think: soon every bar will look just like this.

It would be awesome, Sarah Slocum. Also awesome if Google could throw in a self-driving car, a Starbucks gift card, and maybe some of those cool shoes that have the wheels built in—you know, the ones kids scoot around on at the mall sometimes?

Chevy never has to issue reminders to drivers to not deliberately steer trucks into playgrounds, but people who choose to wear $1,500 computers on their faces need an extra lesson in how to be a member of society. First up: don't be a weird asshole. How generous of Google!

Overpaid manbaby technologist Robert Scoble, famous for unapologetically wearing a face-mounted camera into public bathrooms, has outdone himself: as evidence that Google's face computers will be a hit, he recorded himself talking to a crew of eager high school girls.

The most absolutely awful thing about the story of Nick Starr is not that he exists, but that there are surely more people like him: the Seattle IT drone threw a Facebook fit when he was asked to take off his face-camera at a cafe. "I would love an explanation, apology, clarification...or her termination."

Probably a murky area of the law right now, but we're thrilled to see a big first step towards criminalizing face computers.

Since Google Glass launched to our awe and horror, the company's co-founder, Sergey Brin, hasn't been spotted without a pair. He's placed himself atop the privacy-eroding project, publicly, and inside Google's secret labs. Maybe it's because he's fucking the Glass marketing manager, Amanda Rosenberg.

Is this the "big moment" for face computers? Does pairing a $2,300 Gucci turtleneck or $1,200 Balenciaga boots with a $1,500 pair of gadget glasses make them haute? Will you look like a model—or will the model look like you? No to all of these, of course, but Google's at least scored itself some glossy mag cachet.

Jason Calacanis, who once made a popular thing many years ago and has since been a go-to authority on race relations and poker, is ready with his forecast for the future of Google Glass. There's some bad news: the face computer's ruining his dance floor vibes, and he just might "punch you in the face" over it.

Mega-VC Marc Andreessen has a radical take on Google Glass: "I think people are going find they feel, basically, naked and lonely, when they don’t have this at some point.”

Google. CNBC reports that the haute nerd face computers were verboten at Google's shareholder meeting yesterday, due to privacy concerns. Due. To. Privacy. Concerns. Google!

The BBC's Jeremy Paxman is none too eager to jump in the shower with Google Glass, if this interview with Robert Scoble is any indication. The veteran Newsnight anchor grills Scoble, skeptical about his vow to never live another day without Glass.

Google may have banned facial recognition on Google Glass, but boob appreciation is a-okay with the Burning Man regular Larry Page. Developers at MiKandi released the first porn app for the device, called Tits & Glass. More like tits and class, amiright? Update: Like all good things, this tit too must end.

Google Glass will blow you away, nobody is going to buy it, it will change the world forever, it's flawed, it's perfect, you'll never wear it, and you'll never be able to live without it. At least that's the takeaway if you've been reading BI's breathless, schizoid coverage of the trendy face computer.

If Google wants a face computer on every paying human, it's going to have to get over its lingual prudishness immediately—because right now, the device won't recognize dirty words, and there's no way to change that. You know, because it's strapped to your face.

Yep, it's possible for caucasian America to be more annoying: just add a face computer. This Tumblr is doing a bang-up job of chronicling the new cyber-eyed vanguard of the nerd aristocracy.

And more importantly, publicly sharing photos of himself doing it, soaking and unclothed. The future is now.

Future-facing Android developers have begun receiving pairs of Google Glass and one of them already spotted an Easter Egg: an image of the entire Glass team.

Of all the possible privacy night terrors you can conjure up around Google's fantastically-engineered cosplay device, spotting Glass next to you at a urinal ranks near the top. But for Rackspace employee and professional Guy Who Shows Up at Tech Stuff Robert Scoble, this is totally normal. He's doing it right now.