Apple just earned more profit in a single quarter than any company, ever, and the hacks in Silicon Valley press are fawning all over CEO Tim Cook and praising his genius. But you know what? They're right. Tim Cook is a brilliant CEO. He may, in fact, be way better at running Apple than Steve Jobs was. Let's discuss.

Yesterday I posted an item about how someone at BlackBerry had sent out a tweet using an iPhone, and how this proves just how bad BlackBerry sucks. Then all of a sudden a rumor hit that Samsung was going to acquire BlackBerry, and the stock popped nearly 30% in a single day. Great news! But then the dopes at BlackBerry had to throw cold water on the whole thing by issuing a statement saying that they've never engaged in any acquisition talks with Samsung. Guys! This is not how you manipulate a stock! You're supposed to play coy for a couple of days, so that I can dump my shares whoever created the rumor can sell off their position. Damn you, BlackBerry. You guys can't do anything right.

The latest consumer panic around the bend-ability of new iPhones is largely overblown. Most thin metal things bend. But according to the editors of Computer Bild, a hugely popular tech magazine based in Germany, Apple is banning them for even showing a bending phone.

That didn't take long! Last Wednesday, Bang with Friends—the app that lets you find which of your Facebook friends are down to bone—released an iPhone and Android version of the service. But Apple has already booted it out. Cofounder and CEO Colin Hodge told Valleywag that he's working with Apple to get the app, which recently crossed the million user mark, back in the iPhone's warm embrace.