Blue Bottle, the artisanal coffee retailer popular with hipsters from coast to coast, just informed employees that part-time workers will not receive health benefits, effective January 2015. A tipster reached out to Valleywag with the news and the company confirmed the change.

Walmart, a ruthless retailer known for abusing employees and pulverizing local businesses, just installed Instagram co-founder Kevin Systrom onto its board of directors. And why the hell not? Walmart is desperate for some Silicon Valley magic to rub off on its burdened brand.

Mark Zuckerberg is a success story, having gone from Hollywood sociopath and interview nightmare to mere super-dork. He's awkward, but much of the alienating superweirdness has been coached away. But Instagram honcho Kevin Systrom is still one bizarre, robotic dude.

There are really "two Californias," one in which many successful white people congratulate each other and spend money earned through silly ideas, and another, where the same thing occurs a little to the north. There's been a cultural crevasse between Los Angeles and Silicon Valley—until these two became friends.

Despite a healthily trending #RIPVine Twitter tag and full press coverage, today's Instagram reveal hasn't popped any minds. Or even made them fizz. It's video, on Instagram. It's fine. Cool. But the one guy you'd expect to muster some energy about it hasn't uploaded a single video.

From Kara Swisher's latest tech profile in Vanity Fair, one of those "this is indicative of something profound and strange, but I'm not exactly sure what" moments: