LinkedIn's business practices have been the subject of lawsuits before. This time, LinkedIn is accused of allowing paid subscribers to "anonymously dig into the employment history" of its members, violating federal consumer protection laws.

LinkedIn has been busted by the Department of Labor for failing to pay hundreds of employees their owed overtime wages. When investigators informed the company of their findings, the omnipresent résumé site and noted spam factory conceded to paying wronged employees nearly $6 million in back wages and damages.

California Lieutenant Governor Gavin Newsom wants to be every techie's favorite politician. He wrote an entire book about technology reinventing government and routinely speaks at industry events. He even attended Sean Parker's infamous wedding. Now Newsom is declaring his "intense passion" for Silicon Valley's chosen car company.

U.S. District Judge Lucy H. Koh cares about your reputation. That's why she decided that LinkedIn members can sue the company for accessing their external email accounts in order to send their contacts spammy marketing.

LinkedIn's most popular feature is not job recruiting, but "Who's viewed your profile," proving once again that social networks are only good for two things: stalking and ego boosts.

It only took half a year for the un-beating heart of America's tech sector to show any unified opposition to NSA dragnet techniques: ReformGovernmentSurveillance.com is a lazy piece of PR dreck—and about as transparently self-serving as it gets.

Just last year, hackers beat LinkedIn like a pinata, and out came 6.5 million user passwords. Today, the resume-swapping titan is asking you to trust it to handle all of your email. You shouldn't.

Enjoy your life this very moment, because there is real suffering in the world: a tipster tells us LinkedIn's luxury shuttle is suffering from a mechanical failure. Its riders are sitting on the curb—will they have to interact with the homeless? How will they get to Mountain View?

Raw meat soaked in hot fat for hours on end: either delicious or a deliciously horrible metaphor for Silicon Valley.