There's a brand new dance craze that all the tech kids need to start doing. Stand in front of a mirror at midnight, wave your arms like this, and say the words, "Developers, developers, developers, developers." Ballmer will appear in your bedroom and force you to use a Zune.

Microsoft cut another 3,000 jobs today. Meanwhile former CEO (and current Clippers owner) Steve Ballmer is on stage at a Wall Street Journal conference singing lyrics that Fergie custom-recorded for his new basketball team.

Steve Ballmer defends Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella: "Actually he allowed good karma to happen and good things happened to him and he was very fortunate, and that's his genuine belief in life." Yo Steve-o, no one doubted that Nadella was genuinely clueless.

Steve Ballmer was never really a great culture fit for Microsoft CEO. He hawked operating systems at the same decibel as an infomercial salesman and sweated out his enthusiasm for developers. Ballmer seems far more at ease, however, in his new role as owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.

Every year, the Chronicle of Philanthropy puts out a list of the largest donors. (Mark Zuckerberg came out on top in 2013.) But Inside Philanthropy calls that a vanity metric. Looking at the percentage of wealth an individual has given away, they argue, is the best measure of generosity.

You should read this nonsensical, but brand loyal Twitter account that seems to belong to Satya Nadella, the man Bloomberg says will be Microsoft's new CEO. Nadella likes exclamation points almost as much as Steve Ballmer likes developers.

A little Friday advice: if you work for one of the great mammoths in the history of technology, and your faltering CEO just emailed to say he's departing, make sure you click the right buttons when you reply.