Apple just earned more profit in a single quarter than any company, ever, and the hacks in Silicon Valley press are fawning all over CEO Tim Cook and praising his genius. But you know what? They're right. Tim Cook is a brilliant CEO. He may, in fact, be way better at running Apple than Steve Jobs was. Let's discuss.

Laurene Powell Jobs has been linked before to Adrian Fenty, the former mayor of Washington, D.C. But now there are photos, courtesy of the Daily Mail. They are on a boat in the Caribbean, and appear to be having a nice time on vacation.

Like an emotionally abusive high school coach still haunting your anxiety dreams, the specter of Steve Jobs looms over the Apple of today. Maybe preserving his office three years after his death is making that worse.

For years, tech giants like Apple, Google, and Adobe made secret agreements to avoid hiring rival talent, keeping salaries artificially suppressed. These companies almost got away with paying a tiny settlement—but that monetary mea culpa just got shot down.

Computer executive Steve Jobs reportedly passed away in 2011 after a long battle with cancer and Google's Android operating system. How, then, did this trustworthy guy from Reddit just take a selfie with Steve Jobs?

Steve Jobs is dead, but his haute design super-yacht will prowl the seas forever—right now it's off Cabo San Lucas. [Photo via Instagram]

The Serbia news site Netokracija says this the statue that Apple picked from 10,000 other entries to memorialize Steve Jobs. It's either that or a mystical key that unlocks the Google barges (via Business Insider).

Engadget: "The U.S. Postal Service has approved a commemorative stamp honoring the Apple co-founder to be printed as part of a collectible series next year.

Late yesterday, the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals "paved the way" for a class action lawsuit from tech workers against Apple, Google, Adobe, Intel, and Systems Inc. for "conspiring to drive down pay by not poaching each other's staff." Around 60,000 workers will be allowed to sue as a group and pursue "what the defendants said could exceed $9 billion of damages."

What shining bastion of moral authority would bravely step up to defend a helpless $500 billion corporation being bullied by evil anti-trust investigators? The kind of editorial board that comes with its own warning.

Chrisann Brennan became involved with Apple's founding tyrant when the company and he were both very young—they went on to have a daughter, who he abandoned for a large part of her childhood. But at least, according to a new tell-all, "Steve and I still shared nights of lovemaking so profound that...fifteen years later, he called me out of the blue to thank me for them."