Twitter wants its future stockholders to believe it's the fastest way to a TV viewer's heart (and wallet). But can hashtags and retweets alone show us what's going to be the next Breaking Bad? Doubtful.

Over the weekend, Twitter CEO Dick Costolo was pummeled after his company's public filing exposed the makeup of the board of directors seated atop his $20 billion real-time empire: All white and all male.

Twitter, a company of around 2,000 employees, doesn't have a single woman on its board, and very, very few female executives of any kind. After the New York Times ran a pointed article to this effect, the company's CEO Dick Costolo went on the (Twitter) defensive.

Anthony Noto just came out of Wall Street retirement for one big score: he's going to lead the Goldman Sachs blitz behind Twitter's IPO, hoping to make it the biggest tech stock craze of our time. And Noto knows something about crazes: he helped hype some of the worst tech stocks from the last bubble.

The next stock market hysteria is here: Twitter's S-1 filing with the SEC, detailing brand new information about the hot ticket company, is now public. It's a money-loser, but will be the biggest financial craze since Facebook—let's dig in.

Fortune, Quartz and the Wall Street Journal report that Twitter plans on making its "secret IPO" filings public as soon as this week. If everything goes according to schedule, Twitter could be trading before Thanksgiving.

Twitter’s impending IPO won’t just create generational wealth for its founders and venture capital investors. It will also make rich people, “who had the wealth and means to get access to the stock,” even richer!

AllThingsD's Kara Swisher has a thoughtful story about Twitter's manly board, with one very money quote: it's been a problem for so long, they PG-13 joke about it.

Ev Williams co-created Twitter way back in 2006—years before you were using it. He's kept a firm grasp on the company since then, and according to Bloomberg News sources, still holds 15% of Twitter. That means the biggest payout on IPO day.

Last month, members of Iranian President Hassan Rohani's cabinet decided to expand their social media presence by using proxy servers to launch their own Facebook pages. It began when Mohammad Javad Zarif, Iran's foreign minister, announced that he and his children were updating his public page, which currently displays 205,000 "likes."

Have you ever wondered how people get those sweet, swt two or three letter Twitter handles? It's not just early adopters. With the right connections, someone at Twitter will secretly get help you nab a better, inactive Twitter handle—like, say @dc instead of @dickcostolo—from some unsuspecting noob.

In the not too distant future you'll be able to buy a share of TWTR—the company has confidentially filed for a secret IPO in the hopes of dodging the Facebook's IPO expectation disaster. Start getting your pension ready, bubble fans!

Nathan Hubbard, former top dog at Ticketmaster, a corporation that's made itself a giant out of price gouging, egregious fees, and general consumer-fucking is Twitter's new head of commerce, Bloomberg reports. Let's hope he brings none of his prior business experience to the fresh gig.

The Yale-educated dude trio that runs Rap Genius, a website dedicated to deciphering hip-hop for white people, gets a lot of mileage out of not being taken seriously. Their group goofiness is brilliant, letting them dodge any and all criticism in a self-serious field. Until Rap Genius threatens mouth rape on Twitter.

The great infantilization of Silicon Valley's employed continues.