Do you work in sales at Tumblr? Have you noticed a disturbance in the force? We're hearing that bad shit went down at Tumblr this week, and while it is not going to be announced until next week, for now everyone at Tumblr is drinking heavily.

The United States' (disgraceful) immigration process has long been the bane of the tech industry. But a new venture capital fund thinks it's hacked the immigration process, allowing bring on foreign entrepreneurs to run startups in the US.

It's Halloween in Silicon Valley (and presumably everywhere else), which means tech companies are turning their corporate campuses into moderately spookier versions of their normal selves.

In recent months, companies like Facebook, Google, and Yahoo have dialed back their most egregious political donations, pulling support from climate change-denying groups like ALEC and the Chamber of Commerce. But tech firms continue funneling money into right-wing campaigns, and the Silicon Valley liberals who financed them are pissed.

Marissa Mayer addressed her haters during Yahoo's earnings call. Tumblr, she claimed, will generate $100 million in revenue in 2015. As for profitability, Mayer said Tumblr will reach "positive Ebitda," which doesn't seem like enough return to shut down activist investors.

Faced with sagging ad sales, Yahoo has decided to keep trying to same failing strategy: gobbling up fledgling startups to reinvigorate the aging behemoth. An activist investor already slammed this approach as a money-burning fuck up. But CEO Marissa Mayer is undeterred. She plans to squander profits from Yahoo's stake in Alibaba on more youthful startups.

Earlier today, the Wall Street Journal broke the news that Yahoo, the corporate equivalent of Remember the 90's is "close" to investing in Snapchat, the fratty harbinger of our ephemeral future, at a $10 billion valuation. A source told Valleywag the amount Yahoo is investing is only $20 million and that the deal has closed.

Activist investors are awesome at concern-trolling. Just look at Starboard Value's open letter to Marissa Mayer, a new contender for the underminer's hall of fame. The hedge fund "wants Mayer to stop buying companies" because it's worried recent bets haven't paid off.

Yahoo made $9.4 billion by selling 140 million shares in Alibaba, according to a new SEC filing. Never have so many billions seemed so doomed.

For decades now, the internet has been dominated by the interests of women. You can't load a tab or click a hyperlink without running into diagrams of vaginas, perfume ads, estrogen videos, and whatnot. What's a man to do? This former Yahoo! exec is going to fill the void.

What happens when you combine two dying '90s internet relics into one conglomerate of uselessness? According an activist investor at Starboard Value, a proposed merger of Yahoo and AOL could see "significant appreciation" in Yahoo's stock price and the revitalization of both brands. How exciting!

Soho House New York, the members-only club that once tried to banish investment bankers, has been much more welcoming to the new crop of capitalists. Techies should feel even more comfortable in lap of luxury now because the club is adopting one of their native customs: the hackathon.

Yahoo may have cemented its reputation as a dumping ground for failed mobile startups, but Walmart is staking out a similar renown with shopping startups. Over the last few months, the nation's favorite predatory retailer has been buying up some Silicon Valley e-commerce cruft.

Yahoo has a knack for bailing out bombing businesses. This time, they're saving Flurry: a mobile analytics startup that just took on $10 million in debt as it struggled to find an exit.

Maria Zhang, the Yahoo engineering executive sued for sexual harassment by one of her female employees, is striking back. Zhang, who helps lead Yahoo's crucial mobile efforts, filed a cross-complaint (embedded below) against her accuser, Nan Shi. It alleges defamation and claims Shi was trying to "extort" Yahoo.

Maria Zhang, a top executive at Yahoo, is being sued for sexual harassment, wrongful termination, and intentional infliction of emotional distress. The complaint was filed today by Nan Shi, an engineer supervised by Zhang, and names Yahoo as a defendant.

Yahoo, the last living fossil of the internet dinosaurs, is coming to grips with its own mortality. The lumbering tech giant once bought 48 acres of land in Santa Clara for a massive office expansion. Now it's turning the land into a parking lot.

Nobody really enjoys using most of the Yahoo! branded apps or websites, so the company's future rests largely on the money it can make from advertising. For this reason and perhaps others, it's not a good sign that Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer showed up hours late to a client dinner because she was asleep.

Silicon Valley has traditionally fought off questions about the diversity of its workers, even claiming the numbers were a "trade secret." But following Google's lead, Yahoo revealed for the first time ever that its global workforce is 37 percent female.

Marissa Mayer should have watched Glengary Glen Ross before jetting off to Cannes Lions, the annual festival that lets ad buyers pretend they're Angelina Jolie. Multiple reports say her stilted presentation failed to close the deal.