Michael Arrington is a man who would prefer to keep the things people whisper about him out of the public eye. So the blogging-capitalist, whose "conflicts of interests" run longer than his resume (literally), came out gunning for Whisper CEO Michael Heyward during a TechCrunch Disrupt panel earlier today.

Uber is first third-party app to ever to be integrated into Google Maps. Last summer Google Ventures, the corporation's "entirely" separate venture firm, was part of a $258 million investment round in the e-hailing company. Synergy had me like . . .

Tech stocks look like a Taylor Swift concert right now. Apple, Amazon, Facebook, Yahoo, Groupon, and King (the makers of Candy Crush) were all in the red this morning. Twitter continues to hit record lows after insiders were finally allowed to cash out. Yesterday 134 million shares were traded, more than seven times the normal volume.

Alibaba filed for a U.S. IPO that could value the Chinese e-commerce giant more than Amazon or Facebook. CEO Jack Ma warned his employees, whom he calls Aliren (Ali people), about the "unparalleled ruthlessness and pressure," that awaits.

Don't invite veteran software designer Scott Jenson to your next tech conference, unless you're prepared to sell out Madison Square Garden: ReadWrite reports the stuck-up veteran bailed on a speaking gig, scoffing "I do not speak to small groups."

Here today we have a flawless specimen of Valley doublespeak: Dalton Caldwell, the founder and CEO of an inscrutable company called App.net, wrote up a "state of the union" for his company. Money is good! But all full-time positions are eliminated. What?

Twitter's stock is currently plummeting down almost 17 percent, but it could have been even worse. The lockup period expired yesterday, prompting fears of a crash should employees and investors decide to sell their stock. But former Twitter employees complained earlier today that they were blocked from cashing out.

If you're one of Twitter's 255 million monthly active users or MAUs, you may have noticed company insiders sub-tweeting Wall Street. Only a suit, they scoff, would fail to recognize the value of a company your mom sees flashing across her TV screen.

Shingy may have met his match: Justin Rosenstein looks like your typical geek gentry, but underneath the milquetoast-chic demeanor, he's bubble buzzword demon. Watch as he channels every obnoxious Silicon Valley delusion, all at once.

Last November, it looked like unlicensed lyrics on Rap Genius—a website that's based on lyrics—could lead to a serious legal battle between the startup and the National Music Publishers' Association. But co-founder Ilan Zechory tells me they've made peace.

You might know Jesse Draper's dad as that very rich, possibly insane man who's trying to divide California into six smaller states. His daughter is trying to destroy our society in a much more modest way: a public access talk show called Valley Girl.

LinkedIn's most popular feature is not job recruiting, but "Who's viewed your profile," proving once again that social networks are only good for two things: stalking and ego boosts.

When Oculus Rift sold out to Facebook for $2 billion, some of us raised eyebrows. A huge Kickstarter crowd had given Oculus money in its early days, and now they were being left behind. Kickstarter has a reply for jilted supporters: "there are things that are more important than money." How kind!

Rakesh Agarwal does not know when to say when, but he sure knows how to implode. The former PayPal global strategist followed up a Twitter spree insulting his coworkers with a spectacular cascade of expletives for, oh, just about everyone.

I promise, your weekend isn't as bad as PayPal global strategist Rakesh Agrawal's—he just woke up and realized he tweeted all of this stuff about people he works with. Update: he's gone.

Days before the board of directors for RadiumOne fired Gurbaksh Chahal for the controversy surrounding his guilty plea for domestic violence, the all-male board sent the former CEO and chairman some super sweet, supportive emails.

It's difficult to further debase an annual event commemorating the moral failings of the media industry. But Silicon Valley is nothing if not innovative. Re/code reports that tech companies like Google, Facebook, Yahoo, and Microsoft are hosting some of the largest parties during White House Correspondents' weekend.

If you can't birth a genuinely good idea, there's a mounting body of evidence saying you should try the most deliberately stupid idea possible. How about a storage unit company that's calling itself a technology startup?

After a string of protests has failed to put the brakes on the increasingly hated "Google Bus" network, the San Franciso Examiner reports activists are taking the city to court, along with its cushy tech friends.

The level of interest app-makers can command for adding new features is usually limited to a dutiful parroting of the press release on tech blogs. Maybe a mass privacy freakout, if you're lucky. (Sucks, but at least you know they care!) The bros at Snapchat, however, have lived a pretty blessed life.