Pavel Durov, the cofounder of VKontakte, Russia's largest social network, has had a whole year to reflect on that time he made paper planes about of 5,000 ruble notes and threw them out his office window, laughing as violence ensued below. But Durov hasn't matured much since then.

Parody routines like this are usually a bad idea outside of talent shows for kids, but what's the Valley life for if not perpetuating childhoods? Making money, of course—and what better source material than the anti-materialism anthem "Royals"?

TechCrunch is wrapping up another Disrupt conference (this time in Berlin), and the man who started it all has some very public, very not-nice things to say about the website he created.

Since 2008, Sun Microsystems co-founder and mega-VC Vinod Khosla has been blocking surfers, swimmers, and the generally fun-seeking California public from getting to the beach. Now it looks like he's going to have his way, the LA Times reports, thanks to a 19th century treaty.

Uber, the rebellious car hailing smartphone app, is a big fan of bribery as a sales tactic. To break into New York City's taxi market, they offered users free rides. At South by Southwest, they rode the digerati around Austin. For a couple years now, they've doubled as an ice cream truck for a day. But now the company is offering the closest thing to being a pampered, infantilized startup employee: on-demand kitten delivery, plus cupcakes.

Every social caste has its benchmark for conspicuous consumption. For startup founders it might as well be Keeping Up with the Morins. After Path CEO Dave Morin's major day phone/night phone reveal in Vanity Fair, Circa founder and CEO Matt Galligan had some big UGGs to fill.

When I arrived at the startup house, I walked downstairs and was greeted with what looked like a basement ripe for a party I would have loved in college. The only problem was that there was no one there—seriously not one person.

Live, at this week's TechCrunch Disrupt Berlin 2013. I guess this is still a step up from Titstare, but still not the best way to represent yourself.

Airbnb just confirmed that it secretly raised $200 million from Peter Thiel's Founders Fund and others last year. But locals are more concerned about who gets a share of the "sharing economy." TF Cornerstone, the Manhattan-based real estate developer and management company with some impressive luxury listings in its portfolio, emailed tenants this morning to stop using Airbnb because it violates their lease and creates a "negative vibe."

This weekend, the Level Playing Field Institute brought together a group of middle and high school students "from minority groups underrepresented in computer science" for a brainstorming meetup and tech project competition. Here's what TechCrunch wrote about instead:

In 2011, San Francisco agreed to exempt Twitter from the city's payroll taxes on new hires in exchange for charitable contributions like, say, philanthropic retweets. The value of the tax break was estimated to be worth $22 million over six years. But according to the San Francisco Chronicle, the tax break could be worth more than $55 million after the company's IPO.

Uploading a smartphone video recording of the Kanyedashian proposal seemed like a good idea. YouTube creator Chad Hurley has been struggling to find a second success, and putting hot celeb videos on MixBit—his newest project—drummed up instant interest. Unfortunately, Kanye West is furious.

CNET's Daniel Terdiman has spun a spooky Nancy Drew adventure about trying to uncover the origins of a "big and mysterious" thing "rising from a floating barge at the end of Treasure Island" that has "Google's fingerprints" all over it.

FWD.us, the Facebook-backed lobbying group, is no stranger to unlikely political alliances—in fact, it's reached so far into Washington's conservative corners, some prominent members jumped ship. Teaming up with religious bigots probably won't help.

Sony and "several other major Hollywood studios" are interested in turning Nick Bilton's book, Hatching Twitter, into a movie, TV series, or Netflix-style original, reports TechCrunch. Which method actor will have to get his nose pierced to play young Jack Dorsey?

FWD.us, Mark Zuckerberg's self-serving non-profit, which has already recruited a hedge fund honcho and "a diverse group" of tech billionaires to its cause, picked up five more "major contributors" to immigration reform today, including AOL CEO Tim Armstrong and Shutterstock CEO Jon Oringer, whose IPO made him "Silicon Alley's first billionaire."

Just last year, hackers beat LinkedIn like a pinata, and out came 6.5 million user passwords. Today, the resume-swapping titan is asking you to trust it to handle all of your email. You shouldn't.

New York's startup scene has a considerable advantage over Silicon Valley: it's not fully of technolibertarian, amoral, poorly dressed Stanford-dropout vampires. It's a pretty normal bunch. But one thing the Alley is not, is cool--and if this Business Insider list is the best of the best, that's sad.

The latest Android payola stunt is meant for journalists, of course, but if you're in Manhattan next week, why not swing by? Literally anyone with arms can be a blogger. Bring your party pants and a hunger for gratis electronics.

This is the face of the New Meritocracy: Snapchat founder and CEO Evan Spiegel is atop a startup valued at $800 million after a lifetime of wealth, nepotism, favors, and fun. L.A. Weekly takes a look at the founder's charmed boyhood, and reminds you, life is always fair.