Last night, Pando reported that Apple is about to acquire Path, according to a single source in Apple's engineering team. We heard second-hand that Path is at least in talks with Apple. The idea that an app currently ranked no. 177 in the social networking category on iOS might end up in Apple's ion-strengthened embrace has left some in the tech community questioning their life choices.

In past six weeks former Facebook mafioso Dave Morin has changed his Twitter bio at least three times. Three versions of his mini memoir—"Small town guy," "Small town guy from Montana," and "Entrepreneur & Investor"—omitted any mention of Path, the struggling social networking startup that has raised $77 million in funding.

If Path cannot be Snapchat, then it shall be the world's 9,000th messaging app. Dave Morin just spent some of his shady new funding to acquire a startup called TalkTo. Like the saying goes, you gotta spend your investors' money to lose your investors' money.

The tech industry will save the world because they know how to think differently—just not from each other. Path, the struggling sticker pack carrying case, is following the wisdom of the venture capital crowd and going ephemeral. At this point, if all the cool kids built a jumping off the bridge app, so would CEO Dave Morin.

Chelsea Clinton, get the hell outta here—the young power establishment has a new chosen fetus, and it is the spawn of two mighty tech CEOs.

How do you know your startup is bombing? It's so unpopular, even when users are getting unsolicited messages from robots saying "Make me cum now," there are so few of those users, it's like it didn't even happen.

When Path sprayed a cheap bottle of champagne in its own face over the weekend, touting a new, loathsome investor, it ended on a positive note. Not only is the superfluous social network staving off death a little longer, it's hiring! But will anyone fall for this dreck?

If you're wondering who the fuck would help give Dave Morin $25 more million to continue Path's jaunt toward nonexistence, here's your illuminating answer: Indonesia's Bakrie Global Group, a company notorious for its disasters. This app is just the latest.

Not long after Dave Morin laid off 20 percent of his employees in October, Path began hemorrhaging valuable staffers.

Every social caste has its benchmark for conspicuous consumption. For startup founders it might as well be Keeping Up with the Morins. After Path CEO Dave Morin's major day phone/night phone reveal in Vanity Fair, Circa founder and CEO Matt Galligan had some big UGGs to fill.

Dave Morin's social networking app Path laid off 13 employees today, which represents 20 percent of the company's staff. A spokesperson for the company confirmed the layoffs, saying, "We're working to realign the company to support continued innovation and Path 4.0."

Last week, as part of the JOBS Act, the federal government lifted its ban on general solicitation. Startups can now tell anyone they're seeking investment and accept funds from any accredited investors. No one is having more fun with this than AngelList.

"The world's first mobile event booking and discovery app" sounds like a snoozefest until you hear that Pharrell Williams will be performing at its "red carpet prelaunch party." (Even then, "world's first" should come with an asterisk or ten.)

Dave Morin, spammy app guy and interpreter of God's will, has finally realized virtual stickers aren't going to make Path profitable. His radical idea: ask people to pay for a yearly subscription to Facebook Lite.

Dave Morin, the smug Silicon Valley smoothie and Facebook alum, has never been easy to like. He runs a boutique social network that spams your friends, he's married to an insufferable plagiarist, and once boasted to Vanity Fair of the "bespoke app" he made for his secretary. Now, here's one more reason to think he's a jerk:

We've already touched on the moral cost of spamming your users to rattle up hype—but what about actual cash dollars? According to an insider, Dave Morin's tiny social network is spending huge money to pester your friends to join.

Path is not a popular app. Outside of privacy crusaders and various geek niches, it's virtually unknown—a sanctimonious social network built to appeal to Facebook's haters, that ended up appealing to few. But for some reason, it's spiking in popularity around the world. Inexplicable, right? No—just shady spam tactics and money at work.

All signs point to Path being desperate for user growth: first spam recidivism, and now a deal with Sprint. Out of the box, popular Android smartphones will put a direct link to download Path in your face, whether you want it or not.

It sure looks like it, according to the laments of one frustrated Brit—he says Dave Morin's twee Facebook respite has been bombarding his friends without permission, even after he deleted it.