When it comes to throwing corporate bashes in San Francisco, Salesforce specializes in making life hell for locals. For their annual conference, Dreamforce, the company takes over swaths of SoMa, crippling transit systems and turning businesses across town into giant lines.

Salesforce Tower, currently under construction, has set records in terms of height (it will be the tallest building in San Francisco and tallest office building west of Chicago) as well as commercial rent (CEO Marc Benioff is paying $1 billion to occupy the lower 30 floors and penthouse.) The building has also achieved new heights in propaganda.

After giving the top, million dollar prize in a recent hackathon to a former employee and blatant cheater, Salesforce is apologizing the only way it knows how: with lots and lots of cash and stupidity.

Salesforce.com CEO Marc Benioff is an egomaniacal buffoon who laughs at the plight of underpaid Walmart workers and flies the prime minister of Haiti up to San Francisco so he can thank Benioff in person, in front of 15,000 people, for being such an amazing human being. And like all buffoons, Benioff has no idea how much of a buffoon he truly is.

It's important to never take anything called a "hackathon" too seriously, but when a million bucks is on the line—the self-hyped "single biggest prize in history"—allegations of foul play really sting. Participants in this year's Salesforce.com sponsored coding competition are furious, because the winner is a total sham.

Salesforce's annual Dreamforce conference—"the biggest cloud computing event of the year"—already mocked Wal-Mart workers protesting Marissa Mayer's board seat and broke a local hospitality union's boycott by hosting it at the Moscone Center. So why not add regressive gender norms to the list?

Away from the beanbag-seated crowds and cloud software kiosks at Dreamforce 2013, Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer and Salesforce CEO Mark Benioff sat down on a stage to praise on another. But the panegyric swap was rudely interrupted by labor protestors, calling out Mayer for her board position at Walmart. They responded in the most Silicon Valley way possible.

Dreamforce 2013 attendees sit outside and watch a DJ. Repeat after me: This is a business conference for adults, this is a business conference for adults, this is a business conference for adults, this is a business conference for adults, this is a business conference for adults, this is a business conference for adults...