What feels like several dozen years ago, Silicon Valley's reformed party boy and his Middle Earth bride celebrated their love (and love of nature) by shitting up part of a protected redwood forest. Now the state is making him build them an "I'm Sorry" app.

Being rich only makes you rich. It doesn't make you beautiful, smart, nice to be around, happy, young, healthy, wise, etc.

The main reason it took so long for Sean Parker to put a lance through "the media," "that silent, invisible dragon," is that TechCrunch painstakingly translated it to English. No longer—read Parker's thoughts as they were meant to be.

TechCrunch just changed industry apologetics forever, permitting (inviting?) Facebook billionaire Sean Parker to post a nearly 10,000-word self-serving, unintentionally hilarious screed in defense of his tacky forest-nymph-themed wedding. He says he's been media-lynched and libeled by "inaccurate, derivative stories" without "fact checking or sourcing."

It's true, this wasn't a Game of Thrones wedding. It was a Game of Thrones, Lord of The Rings, Avatar crossover wedding. And it certainly wasn't "subtle." This brand new photo will either make you weep or gag.

Polish your Dothraki blade and down some... Game of Thrones wine (?), because it looks like the lavish Parker/Lenas fantasy wedding has hurdled California's pesky permits. A mere construction code violation will not stop the bedding ritual of a mega-rich Facebook investor.

When rumors first crossed the nerd wire that Facebook vet and inveterate party boy Sean Parker was finally settling down in a medieval themed wedding, he was quick to correct. Really, where would anyone ever get the idea that his wife-to-be is obsessed with Game of Thrones?