It's election day in America—the political equivalent of a tech IPO. And this election, Silicon Valley's tycoons donated heavily across a variety of candidates, partisan PACs, and ballot measures.

What feels like several dozen years ago, Silicon Valley's reformed party boy and his Middle Earth bride celebrated their love (and love of nature) by shitting up part of a protected redwood forest. Now the state is making him build them an "I'm Sorry" app.

Like many other cities across America, San Francisco is attempting to raise its minimum wage and fill a gap caused by federal and state incompetence. The city's voters in the upcoming election will decide whether to up the local minimum wage from $10.74 to $15 an hour, boosting incomes of the most vulnerable workers in the hyper-gentrifying city.

Now that former Facebook president Sean Parker has his billions from Silicon Valley, he's tackling DC next, funneling cash to politicians that specialize in "compromise." And in Parker's mind, those who compromise happen to be Republicans.

Last night, California Attorney General Kamala Harris spoke "truth to power" at a fundraiser hosted at Airbnb's new crisp and airy Soma headquarters. But the only fat cats in the room were the Silicon Valley millionaires and billionaires who are helping to finance her reelection, including Airbnb CEO Brian Chesky and Airbnb investor Ron Conway.

Facebook billionaire conservationist Sean Parker just stepped down from his investor gig at Founders Fund, where he worked for years within one of tech's most prominent venture capital machines. So, what exactly will he do every day now?

Since Friday, I have received four emails from Facebook billionaire Sean Parker. His tone was cordial and calm. He asked me to relay his email address and, later, a private message to his neighbors and I did. That must've been his Dr. Jekyll side. In an "epic rant" to Page Six about the same subject, Parker repeatedly compared me and my employer to attack dogs owned by Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's genocidal propagandist.

In an email this afternoon, Sean Parker, who became a billionaire solely because of his shares in Facebook, said he hadn't received questions about the unnatural disaster brewing outside his West Village home because: "I don't check my Facebook msgs that often."

Former Facebook president Sean Parker may be almost as disruptive to his New York City neighbors as he was to the California redwoods. A tipster told Valleywag that the outspoken billionaire turned 10th Street in Greenwich Village into a "total clusterfuck" today in order to have Verizon FiOS installed at his $20 million home.

Last night, some sharp-eyed CBS viewers spotted reformed playboy investor and nature-spoiler Sean Parker next to Sean Lennon—in what appears to be Sean Lennon's mom's seat. What.

When Jessica Wigsmoen first met Napster cofounder Shawn Fanning at a party at Sean Parker's West Village party house, she didn't think it would end like this. "I lived in New York, I had a really good life," Wigsmoen told me by phone last week. "I met this guy who acted like prince charming." Now, she claims Fanning is denying child support for their 2-year-old daughter, Scarlett. [Update: Valleywag received new information that Fanning has been sending significant, regular payments for Scarlett's care for two years. Full details at the bottom of the post.]

Sean Parker has a rocky relationship with the press unless (1) there is no word count or (2) it's about a subject he wants to discuss. A new article by Steven Bertoni, who covers the billionaire beat for Forbes, falls into the second category—judging by a sponsored post on Facebook where Parker paid to surface a link to Forbes.

A month before San Francisco's last mayoral election, when Ed Lee's rivals struggled to raise funds, Lee was helped along by independent committees like San Franciscans for Jobs and Good Government, a group funded by Ron Conway and Sean Parker. In one quarter alone, they raised $364,000, half from Conway and $100,000 from Parker.

Salon's Andrew Leonard has a very thoughtful profile of Ro Khanna, a Democratic Congressional candidate in California and "Silicon Valley’s chosen one." Tech execs like Ron Conway and Marissa Mayer hope Khanna will keep taxes low and government as minimalist as Jony Ive design. It's just the beginning of Silicon Valley's march to Washington and Khanna is its beta test.

Unless you've been accused of murder, replying to critics on the internet is generally a horrible idea. Case in point: Sean Parker, whose repeated railings against press commentary on his wedding has only spawned more. Now he's threatening to sue his critics. Sean. Sean.

Ex-Facebook president, drug enthusiast, and High Elf of The Redwoods Sean Parker is a private man—he just wanted to marry his beautiful cosplaying fiancee in peace, along with hundreds of their rich and powerful friends. Oh, and a Vanity Fair writer, who detailed the whole thing.

Being rich only makes you rich. It doesn't make you beautiful, smart, nice to be around, happy, young, healthy, wise, etc.

The main reason it took so long for Sean Parker to put a lance through "the media," "that silent, invisible dragon," is that TechCrunch painstakingly translated it to English. No longer—read Parker's thoughts as they were meant to be.