On stage at TechCrunch Disrupt earlier today (RIP, Sam Biddle's press credentials!) Foursquare CEO Dennis Crowley acknowledged the haters, before offering a confident dismissal: "I think there are a lot of people that think we don’t know how to generate revenue, that we aren’t generating revenue. This is wrong," he said. An internal Foursquare document obtained by Valleywag shows some of the new ways Foursquare is trying to make money: Tell advertisers where you've been.

Tumblr founder David Karp's abrupt farewell to his Storyboard team earlier this month was so disingenuous, so thick with noxious doublespeak, that it hardly seemed real. That's because it wasn't: Storyboard's ousted leader ghost-wrote the news of his own firing because Karp wouldn't (or couldn't) do it. What's sweeter than making a fool of your boss on the way out?

"Man, this unpaid internship sucks," you might say to yourself, "but at least I'm not stuck in a tornado." Tough nuts for these 'terns (click the video above), who are caught in a diabolical attempt at viral marketing: the more you tweet about The Weather Channel, the more violent winds will blow in their faces.

As the sun began to rise in New York, Katie Clark-AlSadder, Senior Account Manager at SHIFT Communications, broke my heart: my press credentials to Disrupt 2013 are revoked for no reason. It's time for the healing to begin—but what'd we do wrong?

The tech industry's attitude toward hiring women? For display only. "I was really surprised by how many design—let alone development—firms had women as window dressing: one woman on the team, and it turns out she's the salesperson."

Raw meat soaked in hot fat for hours on end: either delicious or a deliciously horrible metaphor for Silicon Valley.

And more importantly, publicly sharing photos of himself doing it, soaking and unclothed. The future is now.

As a preamble to this week's Disrupt conference in New York, TechCrunch is hosting a "hackathon"—one of those dire geek sweatshops wherein coders create small snippets of ideas, and then hawk them before people with money. It's sort of like speed dating meets department store liquidation sale. But one chose to use his time to basically tell everyone to fuck off.

It would appear, based on this paparazzi shot of Zuck and P-Chan on vacation in Hawaii, that Mark wears a shirt when he's in the ocean. Throw your hands in the air if this surprises you at all. View the full thing here.

More bad news for the struggling Groupon clone: 50 million users just got their personal information jacked by hackers. How hard is Amazon regretting ever getting wrapped up in this thing?

Union Square Ventures chief Fred Wilson has some big notches on his bedpost: Tumblr, Twitter, and Zynga (cough). But if you look at USV's portfolio page, you'll see a lot of chaff. Bad ideas that will probably go nowhere. This is the case with most VC firms. But unlike most investors, Wilson actually tries to chase down laughable ideas. Suddenly it all makes sense.

Now that New York County Supreme Court has dismissed a lawsuit from the livery cab industry that was holding up the city's pilot program, e-hailing is no longer just the province of the early-adopting elite willing to swallow Uber's hefty fees and surging prices for a little black car convenience.

Pour one out for the staff of Spinner and AOL Music—the entire operation is shuttered as of today, after 14 years.

Presented without comment, a handful of excerpts from "Spring Break for Nerds: A skeptic learns the secret to South by Southwest’s success," which for some reason just went up on The New Republic's website.

Zynga, cruising on the highway to BrokeVille, is banking on its newest ripoff of Pictionary to be as wildly popular as the first one. Banking so heavily, in fact, that the company is just shamelessly getting famous people to feign interest on Twitter. Ryan Seacrest: diehard iPhone artist.

Jason Goldberg and Bradford Shellhammer did something rare: they built Fab, a shopping website that's standing out from the other trillion shopping websites. Sales are up, and judging by the pictures they post of their fabulous lives, egos are up too. This is conspicuous consumption at its bubble best.

Betaworks, that company that owns Digg now, just bought Instapaper, that app you use to read articles on the bus. This is exciting, because Betaworks has done a very nice job with Digg—but now Instapaper creator Marco Arment will have more time to tweet about his BMW.

Fred Amoroso, Yahoo's Chairman of the Board, will not "seek reelection to the board." Which is a polite way to resign. Which is a polite way to quit. Which looks bad for Yahoo.

Cloud computing? Quantum photo filters? Uber for dogs? You're over-thinking the tech world, says Dave Morin—all he needs to turn his super-niche Facebook alternative into a winner is for you to buy stickers. Virtual stickers.

Barry Silbert, CEO of the firm that's allowed equity-holders of private companies to trade amongst themselves, has some bad news: it's firing time. Or as he'd like to put the layoffs, an "org change."